Monday, October 20, 2008

Breaking Up

Is so hard to do. The break up with the person isn't even the hardest part. The real toughie is saying goodbye to the illusion of the person that once was. And now, I am breaking up with a 29-year illusion...it doesn't get much tougher than that.

What could be harder than saying goodbye to yesterday? I'm saying hello to a series of tomorrows in which you no longer matter. Not like you used to. And even though your star which once shone so brightly for me has diminished gradually through the years, I never thought anything would put that light out permanently. For years now you have slipped further and further off that pedestal, but I was so sure you would figure out how to apply the brakes. And so I held steadfast, stayed true, certain that for all the cracks that appeared beneath your shiny surface our bond was unbreakable. But you proved me wrong. Fell right off the lofty apex of my expectations and slid ever closer to the precipce until suddenly, without warning, you dropped right off the edge into the abyss of my contempt.

A black hole in my heart I never thought you could occupy. I don't see any way back for us. It feels like the end. I've known disappointments in my life, many at your hand, but somehow this cuts deepest. Cuts right to the quick. Pierces the depths of my soul and fills me with a cynicism I had no idea I was capable of feeling. This is the legacy of our long running love affair. I look upon your face and I am overwhelmed by the loss. Staggered by the magnitude of your betrayal. There is no panacea for what ails me. I'm mourning the person you were, mourning the bond we had, mourning the person you could have been. It is over between us - once and for all.

10 Comments:

Blogger AlooFar said...

You write amamzingly well.

Hi

11:41 AM  
Blogger AlooFar said...

RE: I'll definitely get the book. Everyone seems to be recommending it.

Hope you're good.

Have u taken meat today? ;)

3:02 AM  
Blogger Monef said...

I think you will definitely enjoy it!

I'm good, haven't had my daily dose of meat yet but will be sure to rectify that on my lunch break.

12:37 PM  
Blogger lala said...

Write more. I like you...

11:59 PM  
Blogger ababoypart2 said...

Wow...where have you been? welcome back.

6:41 AM  
Blogger Monef said...

@lala - thanks for the compliment! I will indeed endeavour to write more.

@ababoy - I missed you guys so I couldn't stay away any longer:) I've been lurking on occasion but not really writing much because I wasn't feeling inspired. The mojo is coming back though.

10:35 AM  
Blogger Chxta said...

Welcome back. I'd given up on you...

3:49 AM  
Blogger Monef said...

Ha ha, I know. I had given up on me too! Turns out in the end, I cannot resist the urge to express myself in written form. I was just lacking inspiration for a while is all.

12:53 PM  
Blogger Chxta said...

Welcome back once again...

2:22 PM  
Blogger Monef said...

Thanks..it is good to be home!

9:36 AM  

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